Posted: Thursday, 03·04·2010

36 politically correct ways to say someone’s stupid:

 

A few clowns short of a circus.

 

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

 

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

 

A few beers short of a six-pack.

 

Dumber than a box of hair.

 

A few peas short of a casserole.

 

Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box.

 

The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.

 

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

 

One taco short of a combination plate.

 

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

 

All foam, no beer.

 

The cheese slid off his cracker.

 

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

 

Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.

 

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

 

Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

 

He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

 

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

 

As smart as bait.

 

Chimney’s clogged.

 

Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.

 

Doesn’t know much but leads the league in nostril hair.

 

Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

 

Forgot to pay his brain bill.

 

Her sewing machine’s out of thread.

 

His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.

 

His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.

 

If he had another brain, it would be lonely.

 

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

 

No grain in the silo.

 

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

 

Receiver is off the hook.

 

Several nuts short of a full pouch.

 

Skylight leaks a little.

 

Slinky’s kinked.

 

Surfing in Nebraska.

 

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most.

Posted: Wednesday, 03·03·2010

Cartoons to brighten your day.

Unless you are an old fart mature, then you will be amused, entertained and probably not remember why you are still laughing later today.

 

 

cartoon11

cartoon10

 

cartoon9

 

cartoon8

 

cartoon7

 

cartoon6

 

cartoon5

 

cartoon4

 

cartoon3

 

cartoon2

 

cartoon1

 

cartoon15

 

cartoon14

 

cartoon13

Posted: Monday, 03·01·2010

  

Have you been playing a long time?… — Queen Elizabeth II, to rock legend Eric Clapton

 

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test… — Prince Philip

 

I can do anything you want me to do as long as I don’t have to speak… — Linda Evangelista

 

I catnap now and then…but I think while I nap, so it’s not a waste of time… — Martha Stewart

 

I don’t wake up for less than $10,000 a day… — Linda Evangelista

 

I don’t diet. I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to… — Linda Evangalista

 

I don’t think about anything too much. If I think too much… …– Pamela Anderson

 

I feel my best when I’m happy… — Winona Ryder

 

I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada… — Britney Spears

 

I like most of the places I’ve been to, but I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan… — Britney Spears

 

I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes… — Mariah Carey, on death of King of Jordan

 

I never knew a guitar player worth a damn… — Vernon Presley, to his young son Elvis

 

 

 

Easy AdSense by Unreal